What does Enso mean?
Enso is the name of our innovation lab. It is a sacred symbol from Japanese zen with a singularly gorgeous meaning. It means "the moment your mind is free to let your body create."
Enso symbolizes the moment our mind gets out of our way and allows us to reach our fullest potential. It encapsulates reconnection with our heart, with our creative power, with our innermost truth and self-expression.
This profoundly beautiful symbol also represents strength, elegance, the beauty of imperfection and our interconnectedness.
The Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy
The digital age has transformed our books, the way we shop, and the way we socialize. It’s far more likely for someone to talk over Instagram than to meet up for coffee. But now, more than ever, connection is important. We are in the midst of a “loneliness epidemic”, according to the former US surgeon general. More than 40% of adult Americans reporting that they feel lonely. This is a public health issue. “Loneliness and weak social connections are associated with a reduction in lifespan similar to that caused by smoking 15 cigarettes a day and even greater than that associated with obesity.”
It’s clearly important that we connect, even if we can’t physically be with each other. “Just as human beings have a basic need for food and shelter, we also have a basic need to belong to a group and form relationships.” Connecting with people is important, and essential for our survival, contributing to both our health and happiness. As the Harvard Women’s Health Watch reported, “Dozens of studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.”
Empathy is critical to creating long-lasting relationships. It allows us to connect and socialize in a deep, meaningful, and healthy way. Empathy is often coupled with sympathy, but the two are worlds apart.
Small Prefix, Big Difference
Sympathy is seeing someone in distress and feeling sorry for them. It’s a reaction. If you’re sympathetic, you wish to see someone do better or be better. But you’re not really making them feel better or understanding their plight on a personal level. We often hear, “I don’t want your sympathy.” And that’s because it has a negative connotation that borders pity.
Empathy takes sympathy up a notch. It’s most often described as putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. But it’s much easier said than done. It requires you to first see “someone else’s situation from his perspective, and, second, shar[e] his emotions, including, if any, his distress.”
John Steinbeck said it wisely: “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” Similarly, Walt Whitman explained, “I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.”
The Impact of Empathy
Today, work/life balance is an important show of company empathy. Once people know their time is valued both inside and outside the office, it can “boost morale, engagement, retention, and productivity.”
Empathy is also a tried and true path to creativity. When you’re open to experiencing someone else’s world, you can discover incredible new things. You can also discover some terrible things. But it will make you better. Because when you can visualize what your customer needs, it’s much easier to be creative, whether you’re writing an ad for a billboard, crafting an insurance plan, or selling a sandwich.
The same principles apply to your relationships. If you can put yourself in your partner’s shoes, you will understand their world much better. Just acknowledging that something happens often isn’t enough; think of the last time it helped when someone simply nodded in reaction to something painful you were experiencing. Empathy translates into sharing the burden of something troublesome. It takes the weight off your partner/spouse/friend/parent/sibling/colleague and adds some onto your shoulders.
From parents with their children to doctors with their patients, the impact of empathy goes a long way. For example, a doctor with an empathetic bedside manner is much easier to engage with than one who’s cold and disconnected. They’re also more effective. “Empathy is just one of the elements that facilitates treatment effectiveness, but a powerful one.”
The Science of Empathy
There’s a science behind these connections. Often when we’re empathetic, our oxytocin levels are higher because we’re connecting with someone on a deep level. This “bonding hormone” is the very one that connects mother and child, but it’s also been nicknamed the “love hormone” for its appearance when we bond with another human, and even pets.
New research also suggests that “mirror neurons” are triggered when we see someone else who is sad, angry, or happy. These neurons help us empathize; to feel what the other person is feeling. “If our experiences are similar enough, we can empathize in a way that promotes a connection and can be soothing to the other person.” By mirroring someone else’s feelings, we’re empathizing with them.
Because of the intense, emotional nature of empathy, those who practice it often can easily become exhausted and burnt out. These are usually caregivers, doctors, nurses, and others in the medical industry whose career requires day-to-day empathy. There are steps you can take to avoid this burn out, but more often than not staying grounded, practicing meditation and self-care, and staying present can go a long way.
OK. But How Can I Be More Empathetic?
The simple act of feeling your own heart beat can make you more empathetic. By literally listening to your heart, you can become better equipped to handle social situations. This is because your heart responds even when your mind doesn't. By staying in touch with your heartbeat, you can more accurately take social cues.
This is where the Heartbeat Stone comes in handy. You can hold the Heartbeat Stone in your hand to feel your heartbeat. And it doesn’t stop there. When you use the Heartbeat Stone to share your heartbeat with a loved one who you’re not with, the connection is almost as good as being in person. Heartbeat communication can increase intimacy, improve your emotional connection (empathy), and communication. According to a study undertaken by the Eindhoven University of Technology (TU/e) in partnership with Stanford University and Philips Research, “Feeling the heartbeat of someone you are talking to gives the same feeling of personal contact as looking each other in the eye.”
So if you’re far away from someone, the Heartbeat Stone can help you connect in spite of distance, banishing loneliness and initiating a social reaction in your brain. This connection could be between teams, couples, families, and friends. Feeling a loved one’s heartbeat while you’re having a difficult conversation could help you empathize and understand the other’s viewpoint; it could help you share in their joy if they’re telling you about a big promotion or an exciting trip coming up. This connection builds trust, intimacy, and vulnerability between two people. It can deepen your relationship without words.
Even if you’re not using the Heartbeat Stone with a loved one or friend, the act of being aware of your heartbeat can help you be more empathetic. And people need more empathy in today’s fast-paced, disconnected world. You can change someone’s life by simply being fully present with them in that moment; by empathizing with their struggle. As Vincent Van Gogh said, "Great things are done by a series of small things brought together." Each small act of empathy can add up to have a huge impact.
How to Calm Down Anxiety
Anxiety can get to the best of us, often at the most frustrating moments. It can be completely crippling, and is often misunderstood by those who can’t relate. The good thing is, there are steps you can take to refocus your energy, slow your heart rate, and get back to enjoying life.
First things first: What is anxiety?
When you're approached by a threat, your sympathetic nervous system – and that famous flight-or-fight reflex – kicks in. You physically react: sweating, increased pupils, higher metabolic energy. Mentally, it often registers as fear, and compels you to react. This is totally normal, and can be life-saving when, say, you're nose-to-nose with a grizzly bear. It’s not quite as helpful when you’re meeting the in-laws or have a big night of socializing ahead of you.
It’s important to note that anxiety, depression, and stress are not mutually exclusive. They often band together in destructive duos to wreak havoc on our mental health. Yes, stress and anxiety are symptoms of depression, but they can also be an increasingly common result of packed schedules and our “do-it-all” culture.
Start here
There’s just something about having a plan. You can see exactly what you need to tackle, and how you’re going to do it. You get clarity on what really matters, what takes priority, and what doesn’t need to happen. To get things moving, we’ve created an anxiety-reducing plan of action for when things start to feel impossible. See what works for you and make this plan your own. There’s no “right” way to find relief – but there are a ton of approachable options.
Don’t forget to breathe
Breathing is a surprisingly simple and extremely effective tool when it comes to reducing anxiety, depression, and stress. You’re breathing right now, right? The key is in how you breathe. Find the technique you like and try to stick with it for a month.
Box breath
Developed by NAVY Seal Mark Divine, box breathing has four steps.
- To begin, exhale all the breath out of your body.
- Before you take your next breath, count to four.
- Inhale through your nose for four counts, then hold that breath for four counts. Remember to stay as relaxed as possible (the tendency is to make your whole body rigid).
- Release your hold and exhale smoothly through your nose for four counts.
Divine recommends repeating this for at least five minutes, and developing a practice where you breathe in the morning or at night for 10-20 minutes. Once you get the hang of it, you can use a few minutes of box breathing any time you need to refocus your energy.
Relaxing breath
Sounds nice, right? The 4-7-8 technique, also called the relaxing breath exercise, starts, as most breathing exercises do, with you seated in a comfortable position. Then:
- Gently place the tip of your tongue just behind your front teeth and slowly inhale through your nose for four counts.
- Hold your breath for seven counts.
- Keep your tongue in place and open your mouth ever so slightly as you slowly exhale for eight counts.
- Repeat four times.
About that longer exhale
We talked briefly about the sympathetic nervous system earlier. The sympathetic system is triggered when you inhale, drawing blood from your heart to fuel the rest of your body. This increases your heart rate –– and your anxiety often follows. Its counterpart, the parasympathetic nervous system, is triggered when you exhale. It’s responsible for pumping the brakes in terms of your heart rate, blood pressure, and anxiety. The more you pump this "biologicial brake," the less stress and anxiety you’re likely to have.
In short, a longer exhale has the power to completely relax your entire body. You’ll notice these exercises involve counting your breaths. Though it might seem silly, the mere act of counting your breaths shows great promise in enhancing mindfulness, physical health, and general well-being.
A beacon of consistency
This all sounds well and good, right? But it’s so easy to get distracted with busy days and packed schedules. So it’s comforting to have something that helps keep you on track. The Heartbeat Stone's glowing lights guide your breathing and shift colors as you relax, helping you breathe calmly without much effort.
Meditate
Another helpful anxiety-fighter is meditation. The simple act of being mindful in the present moment can have a profound effect on your mental state. It can also be a recipe for distraction, so it’s helpful to have something to focus your attention on, like your breath, your heartbeat, a candle, or your Heartbeat Stone. Simply draw your attention back to that focal point any time your mind wanders.
Not sure if it’s working? There’s no “good” or “bad” meditation, but it’s human nature to want some kind of feedback. With the Heartbeat Stone, you can literally see and feel as your heartbeat slows. If your mind wanders and you land on tomorrow’s presentation, your heart rate will speed up and you’ll immediately feel Enso’s pulse shift. This brings your focus back and allows you to leave that anxiety-inducing thought behind.
Enjoy the moment
Easier said than done. But by living in the present moment, being mindful of what’s going on, and living right now, you’re engaging the body and mind in one powerful, anxiety-busting unit. You’re not worrying about what’s happened or what’s going to happen. You’re simply living.
These breathing and meditation exercises can really help you live in the now. The more you practice, the more second nature they become.
Let it go
Letting go is hard. Whether it’s an old t-shirt or grudge between friends, we often associate “caring” with “hanging on” to things we think matter. Hanging on to worry and stress does nothing for you. It’s like carrying around a huge suitcase full of clothes that no longer fit. That doesn’t help anyone. The more you carry, the more stressful it is to lug everything around. And carrying stress around can have a huge impact on your health.
Call a friend
We’re social creatures by nature, and even if it doesn’t seem like it, reaching out to others helps. It doesn’t even have to be a friend. It could be a community support group. Therapist. Your local barista. Being vulnerable and talking through what’s going on can shed some serious light on what you need or want to do. By connecting with someone, you increase your chances of feeling better, which in turn gives you a greater sense of self-worth and independence.
Once you connect with someone, it’s hard to live without them. This is where the Heartbeat Stone can be especially comforting. By simply sharing your heartbeat with someone, you can stay connected on a new level. Even if they’re miles away at work or across the country, you can hold their heartbeat in the palm of your hand. You can replay a loved one’s heartbeat through the Heartbeat Stone. The simple act of feeling their heartbeat can have a profound effect on your stress and anxiety.
Get moving
We all know about the impact of adrenaline and endorphins, but exercise can also reduce the symptoms of anxiety, promote relaxation, and increase your sense of optimism. Exercise also complements the rest of your anti-anxiety arsenal: You can make a plan to workout, workout with a friend, and focus all your attention on the task at hand.
Try one or try them all. Find out what works for you and stick with it. You may still have scary, frustrating moments, but you’ll know how to react – putting you in control of your anxiety. Not the other way around.